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Thread: Expendables 3 or how to ruin a franchise...

  1. #1
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    Expendables 3 or how to ruin a franchise...

    I LOVED the first 2 Expendables movies. Nothing like seeing the action heros I grew up with together again. The films were well done, great action sequences and really good acting (Micky Rourke in #2 earned EVERYBODY's paycheck).

    Obviously by the title, I didn't like #3, so what happened?

    How to ruin the Expendables Franchise in a few simple steps:

    1. Add douchbags. I'm guessing they wanted to broaden the appeal to the younger set so they introduced a few douchbags:

    a. Female hottie douchbag - According to my wife, she's a MMA fighter. Great body, strong and blindingly sexy... couldn't act worth a crap. Extremely cliche character, you've seen her character before...
    b. The Twilight douchbag - He was in Twilight, enough said
    c. Spiky hair douchbag - I have no idea what his specialty is aside from stupid hair.
    d. The other douchbag - Very forgettable.

    The douchbags got captured so it was an excuse to bring back the old crew to rescue them...

    2. Separate characters with good chemistry - Jet Lee and Dolph Lundren's back and forth were fun to watch in the other 2 movies, so they separated them and had Jet Lee swing in at the end. Terry Crews was a very fun character in the other movies; big black guy with a thing for big guns, he got shot early on so he was out for most of the movie. The chemistry between Terry and Randy Couture was missed.

    3. Antonio Banderas - He should have been an amazing addition to the crew but his character was modeled after Jar Jar Binks. Really. I don't think ANYONE ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH WANTS MORE JAR JAR, but there we have it.

    4. Remove wisecracking Bruce Willis and insert bitter and angry Harrison Ford - older and less fun.

    They added Wesley Snipes and thankfully didn't screw that up.

    Yes, no spoiler warnings because I want to save you guys a few bucks. We actually purchased that craptacular movie.
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  2. #2
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    Sucky, I also loved the first 2.

    I was just about to red box this bitch too, Ill wait for cable based on your review sir.
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  3. #3
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    Sucky, I also loved the first 2.

    I was just about to red box this bitch too, Ill wait for cable based on your review sir.
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  4. #4
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    Voo just make sure you have nothing better to do, like punching yourself in the balls. You'll regret it less.

    Honestly I'm not sure if it is REALLY that bad or I am SO disappointed and let down because I was expecting something close to on-par with the other 2 movies.
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  5. #5
    seriously, i thought the 3rd was the best out of all 3. The first i thought was horrible, the entire movie was one liners, and stallone and lundgren cant even talk anymore, OMG, they need subtitles for when they talk. But i hated that the first one was like i said, an entire movie made out of 90's action movie one liner quips....
    Oh Look another SAE!!!!
    When the FCUK did we get Ice Cream!!!!!!!

    OH LOOK>>>>> CUPCAKES...
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  6. #6
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    Figures you would Griff....
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  7. #7
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    I thought the first one was alright. Not the greatest or worst movie I've ever seen. Second one I didn't really care for. I liked the part with Chuck Norris and JVD and Sly's last fight. I saw the third one changed just about every person on the team, and immediately knew I wasn't going to watch it. I'm really not shocked to hear it blew.
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  8. #8
    They got Ford because Willis want an incredibly high salary for only being on set like 24hrs.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by echoraven View Post
    Figures you would Griff....
    lol
    Oh Look another SAE!!!!
    When the FCUK did we get Ice Cream!!!!!!!

    OH LOOK>>>>> CUPCAKES...
    JGP Best 118 seconds
    HMIS Best
    2:19.424

    Daytona................
    CCS AM 898
    Yes i hold a track record, and NO it will never be broken

    Gitmo

  10. #10
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    Ha! I agree with you in some parts but PG13 kill it!

  11. #11
    They were all as bad as each other .... average entertainment at best!

    Give me Iron Man any day

  12. #12
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    The first was never intended to be a serious movie. It was supposed to be a guys movie, with tough guys from the day having fun. Even when Stalone was making it, he said it was more about just a bunch of guys blowing stuff up and having fun... kind of a get-together for action stars over the years vs about developing dialog and such. If you look at it from that light it definitely succeeded.

    The 2nd lacked I thought, but that may be because I cant stand JCVD. The only person worse could have been Steven Seagal. At least it had some redeeming one liners with Arnold and such. It was also redeemed by adding Chuck Norris since the world has been in such awe over him for some reason these past few years.

    The 3rd I am thinking I will wait however until its on HBO/Starz/etc to see.
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  13. #13
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    Its on Netflix now... not as bad as I expected but not great.

    I'm vexed as to how anyone can thing Ronda Rousey is attractive... That's a man baby.
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